The Red Eye gymnast.

We were boarding a Boeing 767 with seats so close together it almost took a shoe horn to fit in the seats. Wife and I fly standby with my wife’s airline company passes. When flying standby often we do not sit together. Taking only seats that are available. Often in the dreaded middle seat.

None the less, we boarded a flight from Honolulu one afternoon a year or so back and it was scheduled to arrive in Los Angeles approximately six-am the next morning. An overnight flight. I was assigned an aisle seat one row ahead of my wife’s across the middle aisle seat. A bit difficult to carry on a couple’s conversation. But we both settled in for the almost five hour flight. I had an MP3 player with an audio book and noise cancelling headphones. So I was set for the long haul. However the seats were so close together my leg stuck out in the middle aisle plus the person in front of me had his seat tilted back. So, if you could sleep sitting straight up all would be okay.

Then I closed my eyes and tried to get comfortable and about the time I was somewhat relaxed, a fast rolling serving cart jammed in to my dangling knee which was splayed out in the aisle. BANG! I quickly registered my displeasure. OUCH! But the flight attendant said nothing and tossed a pillow in my lab. That’s it? Just a Pillow? But my knee. It hurts. But the two attendants just merrily rolled on down the aisle with no apology. But being non-revenue passengers I had no one to complain to.

So later once drinks and snacks were dispensed the cabin lights dimmed and I started playing my audio book.

I was sitting next to two Spanish chatting Latina girls. No problem there. However, a few moments later the Latina sitting the middle seat tapped my shoulder and said she needed to make her way to the plane’s lavatory. So I started to stand up in the aisle but she said no. She said she could jump over my legs. Jump over my legs??? How does one do that? Especially since there was a low overhead compartment. So I sat back and hoped for the best. She said here I come. Whoosh she bounded over my legs like a trained gymnast. Up and over she went. Landing both feet in the aisle and off she went to the lavatory. I was simply amazed. How did she do that?

Moments later she arrived and tapped me on the shoulder again and indicated she needed back to her middle seat. So naturally I began to stand up but again she said no. “I’ll jump over. So I sat down and again whoosh over she went. Contorting her body not to hit the overhead and not trip on my legs. Jumping Jack Weaslemeyer! How did she do that?

But she and her flying companion continued their Spanish conversation and I went back to my audio book. Fade to black. Night night.

Published by Charles Oldenfatt the Curmudgeon

If I told you the truth about myself you would think what a wad of chewed gum stuck under a church pew I am. Dull. Ordinary .old and fat

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