Its much easier just to fall asleep.

A Sunday’s slumber.
It seem to always happen while in church. Some people easily fall asleep as a matter of routine. Lots of head nodding and bobbling. My wife was an occasional head bobbler. Some members would be leaning so far forward giving the appearance of almost bumping their head on the back of the pew in front of them.
My favorite church sleeper was Tom Moon. About five minutes into a homily Tom’s shoulders would be up straight but Tom’s chin would be resting on his chest. How he did that without breaking his neck, I couldn’t say. But it happened almost every church time. His snoozing must have been a distraction, if not an amusement for some church goers. Maybe Tom was ahead of his time and was practicing mindfulness and meditating. Not really sure.
Then there was the family, whose name I forget, looked as if someone drugged them all. All, including the mom and dad, would be leaning all over each other’s shoulders and arms along with their dozing teen son and daughter. This happened many Sundays. And they sat up front just steps away from the lecturing preacher.

I must admit my head nodded a time or two over the years. But I am almost sure the minister’s exhortation was a bit non-inspiring and running too long in my case. Ten minutes is a good cut off and ending time for any reasonable oratory.
I think this is why in the past we had “hell, fire, and brimstone’ preachers. Animated pulpiteers Feverishly foaming with lots of hand and arm movement along with rubbery facial expressions. Something like a screaming face with wide open eyes and mouth emoji. Anything To keep the congregation alert and engaged. However, our church was less Pentecostal but more accepting of a rational calm and short lecture. With a facial expression like a comatose emoji. I personally like sermonettes with lots of quips and jokes. It seems to help a church sermon if people laugh. Keeps an audience awake.
A pastor a priest and a rabbi came into a bar. All looking like they surely needed a tall foamy draft. Then The bartender aske the three men of morals and principles, “do you gentlemen happen to know a good joke?”

Published by OkieMan

I come from a family who migrated from the parched red dirt Plaines of southern rural Oklahoma. Migrating to blue collar working class community of East Los Angeles. There is where I was born. I am Mr. Writermelon. I can only write what my grammar and spell checker allows. I am neither profound nor profane. Boy howdy! Send comment to:

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