Appointments I hate to keep.

I’d rather sit on a sharp stick than to go to the dentist. It’s not just the pain and suffering, but it’s the many knuckleheads practicing dentistry. Two days ago I had the ultimate in dental procedures. Root canal. It was just a horrifically long painful process. First of all it took four injections of anesthesia to deaden my gum, jaw, and lip. Four! Usually it only takes one injection. An experience I hate. Just don’t like the idea of someone poking a needle in my mouth. None the less it was a long difficult process I never wish to experience again.

So let’s go back to the beginning. It all began back in my grade school years with Dr. Barkley. Dr. Barkley was a kind and gentle doctor. He explained everything to me. How he numbed the gums, drilled out the cavity, filled it in, and he had very cute dental assistance. But that all went away shortly after I was married and moved out of town.

So let’s start with Dr. West. Dr. West first of all had a Dental Hygienist who must have hated her work. While performing her cleaning and scaling she often grumbled about all her patients. How they must have disliked her. How would she know that? Don’t know. Then Dr. West himself would often talk about his trophies he bought himself with client’s money. Motor homes, boats, motorcycles, and European trips. All of which I contributed to. Then a few years later while visiting Dr. West once again, he told me all about his divorce. Thus needing to sell all his motor homes, boats, motorcycles, and stop making trips abroad. Doing so to split the money with his ex-wife.

Then there was Dr. Burklacy. In between rants about coaching his son’s soccer teams and having to rush back and forth from dental office to the soccer field; he somehow practiced dentistry. I can recall a time sitting the dentist chair for over an hour while doctor and assistance were off doing something else. So I had enough of that.

Then there was Dr. Weis. Dr. Weis started out as an okay dentist until he hammered on my teeth with a rubber mallet severely enough until my tooth cracked and later fell out. So I spoke to him about this and he admitted to doing no wrong. Refused to fix the tooth. I had considered taking him to small claims but didn’t want to waste my time.

Then there was Dr. Worleck. Dr. Worleck’s dental hygienist who was a Russian nationalist named Natasha. She was no relation to Boris Badenoff. But anyway she breezed through and cursory cleaning. Zip pop zing. It was over. Then on the way out of Dr. Worleck’s office one of his clients was paying him off with about six or eight dozen grade AA eggs. All stacked on the office check in counter. Most interesting bartering.

Then I went back to the lady doctor who took Dr. Weis’s practice and she refused to clean my teeth until I had some very expensive dental procedure first. She even sent by mail a letter telling me of this policy. A policy which sounded like a threat. “Do this or else!”

Oh yes. I forgot Dr. Yamamoto in Hawaii. This gentleman was doing ‘Pay-back’ for Hiroshima. Prepping my gums for drilling Dr. Yamamoto failed to rub in the numbing compound before Novocain injections. He just stuck the needle in without any deadening. OMG! It hurt. But quickly on he went to drill and fill. I was so glad to exit that place. God forgive us for Hiroshima.

Then recently, was the multi-tasking dental hygienist. While scaling, polishing, and flossing the hygienist easily talked raising children with my wife. How she did her job while fully engaged in conversation with my wife is a complete mystery to me. Especially since she did a pretty good job of cleaning my teeth. There is more but will stop here. Enough bad news for one day. Yes, I have no love in my heart for dentists. Just smile and floss your teeth and pay your bill.

Published by Charles Oldenfatt the Curmudgeon

If I told you the truth about myself you would think what a wad of chewed gum stuck under a church pew I am. Dull. Ordinary .old and fat

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