This must be correct.

Public notice:

As you know I am not one to create confusion or controversy. Right? So with my Ernest attempt to be politically correct and gender neutral, I am requesting my grandchildren to no longer refer to me as Pops, Papa, dear grandfather, or revered grandpapa.

Instead I request them to refer to me as Old Family Curmudgeon with zipper pants and Jockey shorts. Or possibly just call me Elderly Fart. Or just grand-x with coffee breath. Thank you. I’ll let Sheba the co-occupant in this house speak for itself.