Continuing my drunk persons series.
Before we get started you remember last time a week or so back about the drunk woman at a casino lounge show who kept shouting her request for Lobamba? Play Lobamba! Then a month or so back the drunk man at a Dodger game who had a tray full of roasted peanuts and was tossing willy-nilly to anyone who was sitting down stadium. Free roasted peanuts! So here we go again……
We boarded an American Airlines flight from O’Hare Chicago Heading to Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. This was back when a passenger actually had space for one’s own legs. Plus, American was still serving in-flight food. Such as it was.
Sitting behind us was a younger couple with, what sounded like a two- or three-year-old child. Possibly a little girl. Certainly, a bit excited about flying somewhere. Its always entertaining to listen to a toddler chatter along with rustling paper and whatever as the parents attempt to entertain the child. Let me mention here this was years before today’s inflight ‘seatback’ touch screen entertainment. Movies, video games, music, and more. What the child had to entertain herself was brought by the mother. Coloring book crayons, and possible colorful stickers. Probably enough for a two-hour flight. I’m certain the parents also counted on the child falling asleep in a short while.
Directly across the aisle sitting on an aisle seat was a gentleman amused with the small child and her playfulness. So, he too wanted to join in the fun. He quickly got the child’s attention a engaged her in a ‘finger-action’ game of “The itsie Bitsie spider went up the water spout.” So, the girl joined and did the same with her little fingers. When the lymric ended the gentleman continued one more time. The itsy-bitsy spider went up… the water spout” Once that was finished, the aisle seat gentleman started over. After about three or four rounds of the lymric it became clear the man was inebriated. DUI without a steering wheel. Drunk as they say. Yet he kept on with the finger game. After about six or seven rounds then the child grew weary and sat back and fell asleep. Leaving the man with no one to entertain. So, he wabbled forward and obtained an ‘Air-phone.’ An in-flight cell phone provided by the airline. Then very quickly he dialed someone and got engaged in a very loud conversation. Listening to him we all discovered he was the hearing aid battery magnate of Pittsburg. By the time he disconnected his call we were almost to Harrisburg and the flight crew was collecting items, including Airphones and preparing for landing. Who needs in-flight entertainment when we have drunk men to entertain us all? Flight attendants; prepare for arrival.