When ya gotta go.

posted by Chuck Ayers

No quarter moon on this privy.
We California Okies would sometimes visit our Aunt Minnie. Aunt Minnie was my mother’s older sister. Minnie lived just off the county road between Love and Carter County, Oklahoma. South of metropolitan Wilson, Oklahoma. A once upon a time oil and gas boomtown. Now with a population of 1800 down from a previous 5000.
But anyway, Minnie lived near a spot, and I mean a spot called Postoak. From the gravel road where it ends at the mailboxes on the county road near where my Aunt Minnie had lived one could draw a circumference outlining Postoak. Going from that focal point of the mail boxes out about a hundred yards or so and drawing a circle around it was the spot in the road near my Aunt Minnies homestead. Welcome to Postoak.
One feature of her homestead was the wooden out building located about 50-feet from the rear of her house. I must explain Aunt Minnie had no indoor facilities. No running water nor flushing commode inside her home. So when we had the ne we went outside to the smallish wooden building outback in order to expel our needs. We California kids were not familiar with such a unique ‘lavatory.’ My older sister, a prankster, stated without authenticity that there were rattle snakes down in the privy hole. Which prompted my dad with flashlight to inspect. I thought he a brave man. None the less that rumor was dispelled after his inspection. Whew!
So for those of you who had never entered an outhouse I will narrate what can be expected. This was a deluxe outhouse. It had two cut out holes atop a flat wooden ledge just inside the big wooden door. Holes with no seat or lid. So the sitter might experience some splintered wood stickers in his or Her’s backside.
Over to the wall to the right was a place to hang a roll of TP. But more often than not, the roll would be empty. But just below was a out of date Sears big general catalogue. The big general catalogue had tissue fine paper. Light enough to do the job. However, one would not use the Sears Christmas catalogue because of it’s color photos and heavier paper. One could possibly observe pictures of toy trains of Betsy Wetsy on ones bottom as a result. But as a last resort, corn cobs would be laying about.
Last but least there was no flushing. Just sit and relax. By the way, my Aunts privy had no quarter moon on the door. That would be too much time and expense. Don’t ask me about the odor. Room spray hadn’t been invented at that time. However, a struck match would work quite nicely. Now see what you missed being born too late? Have a nice day.