My Britches.

I’m too big for my britches. I pull my pants up around my stomach and tighten my belt and it quickly slips down under my pregnant-looking belly. So I keep pulling them up and once again they slip down under the fatso protrudance. The frontal bumper. The belly that looks like a pot.

None the less, I do not want to wear suspenders. Makes me look like Larry King or Charlie Weaver. Just a cartoon of a fat guy needing over the shoulder trouser suspension. Never cared for the look.

Here is what I would like. I would like a pair of designer bib overalls. Bib overalls made of either jean or corduroy with lots of fancy stitching with cargo pockets and a zipper pocket on the bib for a cell phone. But possibly with Levi-looking front slit pockets in front and patch pockets in the back. But no loops or hooks for hammer or measuring tapes. Just smooth and cool looking. The darker the color the better. Something that will hide my cornbread and beans gut. But anyway, bib overalls worn over a nice looking polo shirt or a Hawaiian shirt worn over the bib. All looking very manly and skillful without seeming like suspender wearing dork of the month. Never the less holding up my pants with over the shoulder straps. Perhaps Ralph Lauren has such a design. More likely Eddie Bauer would have a cool looking pair of designer bib overalls. I would take a pair in a walking short style as well. I think the Germans have something called Lederhosen they use to hike the Alps. Wearing Lederhosen, long socks, and hiking boots. Yes, that’s it. Get me that look.