Chuck the Blogger Guy

Just liquid soap and warm water.

That’s your first line of defence.  Let it become a habit.  To give you adequate time to wash, sing ‘Does your chewing gum lose it flavor on the bed post over night.

It goes like this:

Does your chewing gum lose it flavor on the bed post over night.  Does your mother make you spit it out but swallow it in spite.  Do you catch it on your tonsils and heave it left and right. Does your chewing gum lose it’s flavor on the bed post over night.’  Then rinse and dry hands.

Just liquid soap and warm water.

That’s your first line of defence.  Let it become a habit.  To give you adequate time to wash, sing ‘Does your chewing gum lose it flavor on the bed post over night.

It goes like this:

Does your chewing gum lose it flavor on the bed post over night.  Does your mother make you spit it out but swallow it in spite.  Do you catch it on your tonsils and heave it left and right. Does your chewing gum lose it’s flavor on the bed post over night.’  Then rinse and dry hands.

Creative language arts.

I was not an English major in college.  Rarely spoke in public.  Couldn’t spell.  Not good at diagramming sentences.  Didn’t know parts of speech.  Had a hard time understanding punctuations and where to place the Period.   Grammar was mutilated.  Took two remedial English classes and had to drop both or take an incomplete.

So, to say the least, English was a second language.  My mom and dad, the red dirt farmer and his wife, taught me more better Okie speak.  Speaking in short broken and incomplete sentences with lots of dot dot dots.  It worked okay until I finished sixth grade.  These days, I can get by with dictating into my iPhone and sending a cryptic text and blaming the corrupt verbiage on SIRI.  “Boy howdy! If that don’t beat all I ever saw,” my Okie dad would say.

Legacy.

If I were to leave a legacy for my grandkids, it would be this:  books are cool.  Reading books help us to discover where we all have come from and where we are going.  Most of all discover who you are.  What is most important to you and why it matters.  “Know thy self” someone once said.

 Put down your shiny metal device and read a book.  Turn the paper pages.  Smell the printer’s ink.  Write something in the margins.  Dog ear the pages you especially liked.  Or if you have to, download a book on your device. 

Then let it all sink in and challenge your brain.  To know the past is to reveal the present.  And give creation for the future.  Read old classics.  Read Mark Twain, Herman Melville, Robert Frost, Jane Austin, John Steinbeck, Ernest Hemingway, Jack London, and more.  Read Gone with the wind, Grapes of Wrath, To Kill a Mocking Bird, Thorn birds, Roots, Gods and Generals, Winds of War, M*A*S*H, Hawaii, The Holy Bible, and more.  Read about Abraham Lincoln, Abigail Adams, Teddy Roosevelt, John F Kennedy, Eleanor Roosevelt, Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Mickey Mantle, James Garner, Sandra Day O’Connor, Steve Martin, Michelle Obama, Jesus Christ, and others. 

All of these marvelous books and authors to place a frame around where we’ve been and how we got here.  And hopefully to give you a road map to where you wish to go.  Trying to answer the question, “Who am I?”  Who do I want to be?  Who do I relate to?  Give depth and definition to your life.  Read.  Read a book.  Are you listening Grandkids?

I don’t know how she did this.

I had my teeth cleaned yesterday by a certified dental hygienist.  So, I was accompanied by my wife in the tooth cleaning room.  All the while I was being scraped and flossed, the young dental person talked endlessly with my wife.  How did she do that?  It was something like talking without any ‘periods’ between sentences.  None the less, it was almost as if she was just doing the dishes in the kitchen while chatting with a neighbor.  Yackidy yackidy yack.  How does one talk forever about her preschool kids and do her dental work as well?  Truly amazing.  Is this one of those “I could do it in my sleep” moments?  Jumping Jack Flash!  How could she ever do this while babbling on and on?

Chicken prepared out of compliance.

I asked for the original Kentucky Fried Chicken.  What I got was Kentucky Fried Crud.  Something like summer camp chicken on a stick.  Not anything like the original baked chicken prepared with “Eleven secret herbs and spices” as advertised in the 1960s.  None the less, KFC has certainly refined its marketing strategy and knows how to sell “chicken.”  All the while they forgot how to serve up the original tasty Colonel Sanders famous recipe chicken.  This is to not mention the lame school cafeteria-style mashed potatoes and something like a canned biscuit now served with the so-called ‘Original KFC.  KFC just like other corporations back in it’s time started up with a reasonable product but, quickly figured out how to just sell something representing fried whatever.  Never mind serving up something really tasty.  Colonel Sanders must be revolving in his tomb with great anguish.  Now I know why the chicken crossed the road.  To get to Chick-Fil-A.

But I liked Senator Warren.
My wife said she was a really cool dresser. Hip but not flashy. Some said she had a very good campaign organization. Smart and young. Then some said but she is a woman. Plus she knows way too much. Then some said she is not a Republican. No self-respecting conservative would ever vote for a woman. What would her husband think? She would have to submit to her husband’s politics. Just couldn’t work.