Why do those guys talk like that?

Who’s correct here? People north of the Canadian border or south? And I am talking correct pronunciation of certain words. When speaking of living in a house is it howse as the southern neighbors pronounce it or howoose as the northern neighbors pronounce it. When pronouncing the word about is it abowt or is itContinue reading “Why do those guys talk like that?”

How did we ever make it out of Junior High?

Junior high boys are the most peculiar barbaric animals observed in the human world. And I am speaking boys of my own generation. Not middle school boys of the recent generations. And speaking of middle school I’m not really sure why we went from junior high designation to middle school classification. We societal wonks areContinue reading “How did we ever make it out of Junior High?”

What I wouldn’t do if eating with the Queen.

From the Confessional. I have these habits and foibles I must confess. Just to get it off my gray hairy chest. Please understand. I’m trying to be good. I love a good bowl of cereal. Especially if it is some of that homemade granola we buy at Sprouts. Sprinkle it with raisins and sunflower seeds.Continue reading “What I wouldn’t do if eating with the Queen.”

Just another drunk in the sky.

Continuing the series on drunk people I run into from time to time. Remember the drunk guy I told you about at Dodger stadium tossing willy-nilly many bags of roasted peanuts while the police drug him out of the stadium? Then there was a drunk man on a flight from Chicago who finger played theContinue reading “Just another drunk in the sky.”

Splish, splash. I was taking a bath.

Only on a Saturday. The end of the week. We would be outside early evening playing hide and seek. A very large and old sycamore tree was home base. My older brother would count to three and we all would shout as loud and fast as we could, “not-it!” Whoever was the last or slowestContinue reading “Splish, splash. I was taking a bath.”

Call the bum out.

It was a really nice mild spring evening 1962. My friend Ron and I were at Dodger Stadium to watch an early season baseball game. What a beautiful ball park the Dodgers have. The outfield grass trimmed nice and even with a lush field of green. Dirt infield raked and smooth. All just right forContinue reading “Call the bum out.”

Brothers Grimm! Kiss my butt.

`Story time rewrite. The original version of the story just does not work. The rough edges need some buffing and sanding down in order to present it responsibly to your grandchildren. Kids today just could never go for guts and gore. So, sanitizing the original story is most necessary. But all of this is dependentContinue reading “Brothers Grimm! Kiss my butt.”

That was a close shave.

Just a close shave. Darn! My electric shaver is broke. The head and foil has come apart. I thought I had another to replace it with but discovered I do not. This got me to thinking. What if I grew a beard? I tried it once or twice when in college. The miscellaneous scruff IContinue reading “That was a close shave.”

But wait a minute buster.

They come to serve. I still get a big charge out of a wait staffer when coming to take your food or drink order at our favorite restaurants. Especially when they are a new hire. Our last encounter was with a young man probably a freshman college student at the nearby State University. Most likelyContinue reading “But wait a minute buster.”

Celebrating one’s own birthday is embarrassing.

Don’t like being the center of attention. Especially for my own inconsequential birthday. To me there is nothing about growing old that excites me enough to get silly and wear pointy hats. Here is my suggestion for celebrating birthdays. Just celebrate the zeros. Yes, just celebrate the 20s, the 30s, the 40s, etc etc. YouContinue reading “Celebrating one’s own birthday is embarrassing.”